Want to Read?

Buy the book about friendship and cancer. Kindle/electronic edition Ebook

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For 18 months I was employed as a PA by a friend who lived with, and died of breast cancer.

I subsequently wrote about the experience and published it as an E Book.


Read reviews such as:

“This beautifully written book is a useful resource for anyone whose life is touched by cancer. It is a refreshingly open and honest account of the challenges within relationships when facing a terminal illness. We often shy away from talking about the emotional and psychological aspects, that we can be annoyed, frustrated and worn out supporting someone going through cancer and love them tremendously all at the same time…..”

(A woman living with secondary breast cancer. April 2013)




This book is part of our story.


“One day in the summer of ’95, she is in my garden; she raises her tee shirt and casually asks me to look at her breast.

I am horrified and realise then that her inability to manage certain aspects of her life means that this is now very serious.

Her nipple is inverted and the skin around it is puckering and looking lumpy.

Stemming my fear I encourage her to see her doctor as soon as she returns home.

She leaves, and I feel the first wave of overwhelming shared emotion that will become our way of life.

“I have breast cancer,” she says at her next telephone call.

I think of nothing but death:

When? How long? This is so unfair. I voice none of these thoughts and neither does she.

She is economical with her words, keeps it simple and is emotionally detached.

I am saying she must come and stay with me if she gets ill.

I do not say, “You must come when you are dying,” though this is what I mean.

Twelve years pass before I honour that promise.”

Would I have behaved differently had I any inkling of the harvest produced from the sown seeds?

It is written in current time and covers a period of 20 months.

It is uplifting, profoundly honest, thought provoking and as one reader said;

“I have just got out a tepid bath having felt compelled to finish your extraordinary book: feel inspired, privileged and so much more.”

This story not only stands alone as a story, but offers book clubs, developmental training programmes, carers, and other professionals much to debate and consider.

Edited Reviews

A love story that cannot fail to move you.

Ideal for anyone who has gone through losing someone close.

Book clubs will find that the subject matter will provoke thoughtful, wide ranging and at times challenging discussions.

This book speaks to all partners, friends and carers of those who are ill.


“It is beautiful…sad and uplifting all at the same time. I shall recommend it to my daughter who is training to be a doctor . ” KB

“You take the reader on a rollercoaster of emotions, I felt a genuine involvement in a painful but necessary journey.” MN

“So moving and articulate. Putting into words how I felt on my journey with my Mum and recently with my best friend.
Thank you Julia for putting down on paper a journey that so many will find comfort in reading. Knowing that feeling all those negative emotions as well as the positive ones is normal and acceptable.” DS

“A rare journal of a cancer carer” CBD

“It bought back many of the really harsh recollections of the last few weeks caring for my mother, but with it many of the final happy memories full of laughter and teasing” MN

“I confess to be crying again as I write this… for anyone who has gone through the pain of losing someone close reading this book will bring it back….” MLe

“the honesty expressed in this book was uplifting” AJ

“a memoir of bereavement” ED

“I have just got out of a tepid bath having finished your extraordinary book; feeling inspired, privileged and so much more” OH


Macmillan cancer Care reviews:











Contact me through:

thetidesofourlives [juliadansie@gmail.com]


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